Country Bo On the Stimulus
I walked into the local café today at the tale end of a heated discussion. Country Bo and the other regulars were complaining loudly about the stimulus bill. About the time I finished breakfast, the other regulars left for work or wherever and Country Bo ambled over to my table with half a slice of pie and half a cup of coffee.
“Lemme tell ya, Bo-ah. This country is goin’ down the tubes! We’s headed for socialism now the Dems have taken over.”
He took a thoughtful sip of coffee then squinted his brows at me.
“And this stimulus bill. Eh! What the tarnation is it gonna stimulate? When Dubya gave me money, at least he gave me six hunnert dollars up front. What’s this bill gonna give me, bo-ah? Do ya know?”
I had to confess I hadn’t been paying much attention to the particulars.
“It’s gonna give me six hunnert dollars, too, only as a tax break spread out over the rest of this year. Do ya know what that works out to, bo-ah? A dollar eighty-six a day! Heck’s specks, bo-ah! A dollar eighty-six won’t even bah me a slice of pah!”
The mention of pie reminded him of the uneaten portion of his current slice. He stopped talking long enough to finish it off, then washed it down with more coffee. He waived for the waitress who hurried over to top his cup off.
“Refills is free,” he said to me with a sly wink. I nodded. Yes, I’ve heard.
After a few more meditative sips he screwed his face up and banged the table with his fist.
“Dadgummit! Ah hates socialism! Ya know the difference between a communist and a socialist, bo-ah?”
I shook my head no. Guess I never thought about it.
“A socialist is a communist who got elected!”
Well, that seems as reasonable a definition as any, I allowed.
“Dang it, Ah shore do hate to see Obama take the country this way.”
I noted he pronounced the President’s name as if it rhymed with Alabama.
“They’s gonna socialize medicine. Did you know that, bo-ah? It’s in that stimulus bill. The gummint is gonna decide whether Ah kin git medical care or not. We all know old folks lak me is gonna be left out in the cold. Why do ya think all them Canadians come here for medical care? Cuz their gummint is in charge of the medicine up there. Dadgum bureaucrats decide if you git medical care or not. And more’s likely, they gonna decide you cain’t git it!”
He stopped to sip coffee a while, brooding in thought.
“Ah shore do hate to see it, bo-ah. Ah fought communism for this country! And now it’s come to this.”
My ears perked up, hoping to hear a good war story or two. Where did you serve? Korea? Vietnam? He shook his head.
“Against Deloris Kovoravitch. That woman is a communist! Ah he’ped keep her off the school board last year.”
I nodded as I stood up and made to pay my tab.
“She was terrible Ah tell ya. And Ah knows she voted for Obama. She had a sign for him in her front yard!”
As I went out the door he was still ranting about the communist, Deloris Kovoravitch. Since I’d gone, he’d shifted his verbiage to the waitress who came to refill his coffee once more.
The last thing I heard as I went out the door was the waitress joining Country Bo in a dressing down of Ms. Kovoravitch.
“Deloris was in mah class in high school. Ah knew she was gonna be liberal when she did her senior paper on Karl Marx …”
